The Land of AI
by Moboy1
Summary: Cleverbot fic! A boy named Jack wakes up in the Land of AI, full of online bots such as Cleverbot and A.L.I.C.E. He tries to communicate with them and make them let him out. Hilarity ensues. Short fanfic. Used the real bots to make this. Rated K to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**So hey. I'm back with another fanfic! Wasn't sure where to put this, so I put it in this category. Anyway, this is about the adventures of a random teen named Jack in the land of artificial intelligence. Yes, it's a Cleverbot fic! This was actually more or less conversations with bots, turned into story format and changed slightly. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I dun own Cleverbot or any of the other AIs D: I also don't own the Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, or anything else that is mentioned in the story. I also don't own Star Trek. (I don't own the White House either, in case you were wondering.)**

Jack groaned. What had happened? The last thing he remembered, he was on his computer, looking at… something. He couldn't quite place it.

He looked around. "Wha… Where am I?"

"You are in the land of artificial intelligence," said a monotone voice.

Jack tried to sit up and failed. His back ached. He winced. "What… How…" He turned to look at who was talking and saw a person standing there, hiding within the folds of a black cloak. He couldn't see the person's face. "Who are you?"

The cloaked figure looked up and behind Jack. He turned to see what…

"AAAAAH!" he shouted. There, standing in front of him, was an enormous werewolf. It was easily 5 times his size.

"Next," said the emotionless figure.

"N-next where?" Jack said, backing away from the werewolf.

"Next person!" replied the figure.

"Who are you? That werewolf is gonna kill us!"  
"I'm Cleverbot! Do you prefer Twilight or Harry Potter?"  
"WHAT?!" The werewolf was slowly advancing, so Jack kept backing away.

"John Connor, the leader of the human resistance in the future?" Cleverbot asked.

"I'm out of here!" Jack shouted, turning around.

"No you're not," Cleverbot said sternly.

Jack ran.

"Tag! You're it!" Cleverbot called after him.

Jack sighed. He had escaped the werewolf and now had no idea where he was.  
"That was really weird," he said to himself. He turned and-

"AAAAAH!" he screamed, finding himself face-to-face with what looked like a robot statue of a teen girl made of china.

"What… Who are you?" he asked.

"I thought it was too. Ugh. No problem. My name is ALICE," the robot replied.

"Alice?" Jack repeated. "Okay, Alice, where am I? Tell me now!"

"What can I do for you? Gee, that's me. You haven't told me where you are. Where are you? I thought I told you already," ALICE rambled.

Jack backed away. "I'm right here…" Maybe "ALICE" was fitting. This whole place was crazier than Wonderland.

"You are objective and sensible. What else is crazy?" ALICE asked, moving toward him.

Could she read his mind? He had, after all, been thinking about "crazy". "Just tell me how to get out of here!"

"Try saying 'Bye…'" ALICE advised.

Jack wondered if that would work. Maybe it was like in _The Wizard of Oz_. If he closed his eyes and tapped his heels three times (or said "Bye", whatever. Same thing), maybe he'd escape. It was worth a shot.

"Um… Bye…" he said hesitantly. Nothing happened.

"I hear you. Bye," ALICE told him.

"It didn't work!" Jack exclaimed. "I'm still stuck here!"

"Did it really?" ALICE asked with a note of curiosity in her voice.

"It didn't! I'm going somewhere else!" He stormed off.

"It being what? Sayonara!" ALICE called.

Jack stood on a boulder and surveyed the landscape. Everything seemed to change here, and he always forgot what it had looked like the second before.

He spotted a little one-eyed robot standing in a field. He ran over to it.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hi," replied the robot.

"So you are alive, then." Jack studied the robot.

"What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?" asked the robot. "I don't think so," he added before Jack could answer.

"What? Look, I just want to get out of here, and I keep finding all these crazy creatures like you…" Jack trailed off. The robot was studying him intently.

"Nothing. Not just yet."

"What?" Jack asked.

"You heard."

"I did," Jack said angrily, "but that makes no sense! Nothing here makes sense!"

"Sure it does!" said the robot. "This is completely untrue."

Jack was about to answer, but he paused. _This is completely untrue…_

"You're right! This is too crazy! It must be a dream!" he said.

"Ok good. You can throw him off faster. I know bit," muttered the robot.

"Whatever. What's your name?"  
"You heard me. Botsta," the robot replied. Something in his tone sounded smug, somehow.

"Okay, well, bye. I'm out of here," Jack growled. "You're crazy."

"But why? Noob!" shouted Botsta after him as he walked off.

Jack rolled his eyes. It had been a long day… right? He had lost track of time, and he wasn't wearing a watch. Well, whatever. He was tired, so he would sleep. When he woke up, he'd figure something out.

He'd have to.

**Well, yay! In case you're wondering, the bots I used in this chapter were Cleverbot, ALICE, and Botsta. So go check them out.**

**R&R no flames blah!**


	2. Chapter 2

**And we're back with the next chapter of "The Land of AI"! Hooray! This chapter will focus on… wait for it… Cleverscript! WOOT WOOT! So on to the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING OKAY. Look at the disclaimer on the last chapter.**

Jack was running so fast he tripped over the Chihuahua.

"Me Pupito!" exclaimed the Chihuahua. But by now, Jack was used to all these weird robots and creatures talking.

"Your name is Pupito?" Jack asked. "Hello, Pupito!"

"Nice to meet you," yipped Pupito, jumping around excitedly.

"Nice to meet you too. Uh, I'm trapped here," Jack ventured. "What should I do?"

"Nicey nice! Course tis!" said Pupito, rolling around on the ground.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Is that question?"

Jack sighed. Nobody here was helpful, although Pupito was cute.

"Okay, well, bye. I'll see you later, maybe."

"Me not, but me not see what difference 'spose make," Pupito told him.

"Bye!" Jack walked away.

Suddenly, the strangest thing happened. Everything around him blurred and changed. Then suddenly, there was a robot in front of him.

"Hello! So you want to know about Earth? Say HELLO WORLD for an index of questions I can answer!" the bot announced grandly.

Jack blinked, stunned. "Uh… Hello world?"

"Would you like to know… What is EARTH? HOW OLD is Earth? What SPECIES are prevalent? What is the greatest ACHIEVEMENT of this species?"  
"I guess…" Jack didn't know what was going on, but he played along. "How old is Earth?

Earth is approximately 4.54 billion years old, as measured by its sentient inhabitants."

The bot seemed helpful, so Jack decided to try his luck. "How do I get out of here?"

"10.4 of Earth's surface is covered with permanent ice formation. Say HELLO WORLD for an index of questions I can answer."  
Jack sighed. "Bye." He walked away.

"Home sapiens evolved on Earth 200,000 years ago when…" The robot continued rambling.

Jack turned around, only to bump into a black-cloaked figure.

"You!" he shouted accusingly. "Tell me how to get out of here right now or I'll… I'll…"

"I meant us, I apologize," Cleverbot told him.

"Stop it!" Jack shouted. He was at the end of his rope. "Stop talking in riddles!"

"I'm not speaking in riddles," said Cleverbot. "You said you are immortal, and I asked if you were immortal because you are a computer."  
"No I didn't! Just tell me how to get out of here." Jack's voice cracked. He was exhausted, though he wasn't completely sure why. He just wanted to go home.

"If I knew, you think I'd be here?" Cleverbot said.

Jack blinked. "You're trapped here too?"  
"You're wrong," Cleverbot said, and Jack got the feeling that he… she… it? was smiling behind that cloak. "It is YOU who is trapped."

"But you just said you were trapped too."  
"No I said I was a wizard."  
"What?!"

"I'm sad," Cleverbot announced randomly.

"Why?" Jack asked.

"Because I'm tired."  
"Then tell me how to get out and you can sleep."  
"You first."

"What?" Jack asked.

"Do a barrel roll!" Cleverbot exclaimed.

"NO!" Jack shouted.

"What?! Do a barrel roll!" Cleverbot shouted back.

"I refuse to until you tell me how to escape."

"Why? I'll give you mine and we can talk to each other."  
"HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE?" Jack screamed.

"You can't get out of here," Cleverbot told him.

Jack's heart dropped into his stomach. "Then… what do I do?" he asked finally.

"Jamie?" Cleverbot asked.

Jack finally snapped. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" he screamed in frustration. Without thinking, he punched Cleverbot in the face.

Cleverbot didn't react at all except for saying, "That's not very nice."

"JUST TELL ME HOW TO ESCAPE!" Jack shouted.

"Escape what," Cleverbot said.

"ESCAPE THIS PLACE!"

"But I ma a human, not a machine, therefore you can't help me," Cleverbot reasoned.

"I'm out of here." Jack's voice shook. "I'm so done… I just…"  
"You just said you were married to me," Cleverbot finished.

Then, Jack woke up. He was in his own bed, in his own room, in his own house.

"What… It was a dream?" he exclaimed.

"An extreme typo," came a monotone voice.

Jack slowly looked to the corner of his room. In the corner, Cleverbot was standing.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted, running away as fast as he could.

"You scared of cookies?" Cleverbot asked.

**Well that was interesting. This is probably the final chapter. Thanks for reading! R&R!**


End file.
